Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For
We believe your marriage is worth saving. Let’s take a moment to set aside any external influences and focus on the core issues.
There’s no evidence that unhappy people who divorce suddenly become happy. In fact, research suggests the opposite is often true.
The reality is, the problem may not solely lie with your spouse. In many cases (and this is where pride often gets in the way), it could be you. If you’re not willing to address your own role and take accountability for your growth, how can you expect to heal your relationship?
Healing starts with self-reflection and a willingness to improve yourself.
The Long-Term Impact of Divorce
Dr. Judith Wallerstein, a licensed psychologist and top divorce researcher in the United States, conducted a 25-year study of 131 children whose parents divorced. Her findings are eye-opening:
“Twenty-five years after their parents’ divorce, children remembered loneliness, fear, and terror. Adults like to believe that children are aware of their parents’ unhappiness, expect the divorce, and are relieved when it happens. However, that is a myth. What children actually conclude is: if one parent can leave another, then they both could leave me. As a society, we like to think that divorce is a transient grief, a minor upheaval in a child’s life. This is also a myth. While divorcing parents go through transition, their children live in transition.”
Divorce doesn’t just affect the couple involved—it ripples outward, impacting children in ways that can last a lifetime.
Pause and Reflect
Before making a permanent decision during a temporary state of unhappiness, take a step back. Consider that there may be more to the situation than your immediate feelings. This isn’t about staying in a marriage that is unhealthy or unsafe—it’s about exploring every possible way to heal and rebuild before walking away.
Not all marriages can be saved, but the effort to try is worthwhile.
Regret Is Real
Research shows that many people who divorce later regret the decision. The National Fatherhood Initiative Marriage Survey found that more than three-fifths of divorcees wished they had worked harder to save their marriage.
The Institute for American Values discovered similar findings:
- There was no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were any happier than those who stayed together.
- Two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed together reported that their marriages were happy five years later.
Those who chose to fight for their marriage, even through difficult times, often found happiness and fulfillment later. Why? Because putting in the work tends to yield the results you want.
Focus on What Matters
What you focus on grows. If you focus on giving up, it becomes easier to quit. But if you shift your mindset toward improvement—both individually and within the marriage—you significantly increase the chances of repairing what’s broken.
By addressing issues head-on, being patient, and committing to growth, you can create the conditions for lasting change.
A Path Forward
There’s a 7-Step Plan to help guide you through the process of healing and rebuilding. It starts with reflection, accountability, and a willingness to try. While every situation is different, the effort you invest today could lead to a stronger, happier future.
Your marriage is worth it. Start now.